Reflections: I Will Hold Back The Darkness, So You Can Live In The Light
I look for myself in my daughter, Willow. She is a tiny reflection of who I was as a child. Reflections: I’ll Hold Back The Darkness, So You Can Live In The Light, pairs portraits of Willow with self-portraits as a way to explore this. When a self portrait resides next to one of my daughter, a pathway opens. This path is one of self-love. Brene Brown says, “You can only love your children as much as you love yourself.” I want my children to be as loved as possible. The significance of these diptychs reflects the importance of home, healthy relationships between a mother and child, and the search for self-love after trauma.
When looking at my self-portraits on their own,
I feel this immense loneliness. When the
portrait is placed next to one of Willow, I feel the heaviness of that
loneliness begin to lift. The lifting
of that feeling is what makes these pairings powerful. Inside of myself I see a sad little girl that
will forever be a part of me. I know that
my daughter will never know this pain.
The little girl I see in her, who is a reflection of me, will always be
loved. She will always have someone to
hold her and will always feel safe and heard in her home. As long as I am alive, my little girl will
have someone to look to in times of need.
I would do anything for that little girl. The duality that exists in this ongoing body
of work is one that will heal me and, ultimately, free me.